Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Silence......

This is how Merriam Webster defines the word: silence
 
Pronunciation:
\ˈsī-lən(t)s\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin silentium, from silent-, silens
Date:
13th century
1: forbearance from speech or noise : muteness —often used interjectionally 
2: absence of sound or noise : stillness silence of the night,
3: absence of mention: a: oblivion , obscurity b: secrecy silence,

Guess I have been silent for some days now. No new posts, staying away from my blog and usual stuff. What has kept me busy -- you would like to ask. Well, I do not know myself. There can be more than one reason but now I want to break this silence which has become so long that it has started to make me nervous. By the way, 2009 is here. There are mixed emotions at the moment. I am happy that 2008 is a past, a year that snatched so much away from me, a very close friend, my elder sister and my grandma( I dunno why I am putting this up but I fear that I have kept my fears so much within me that its hurting me real bad). And I am sad that 2009 is here. Now when its time to leave college and the hostel( It will be missed so very badly). And hence I have shown no signs of joy or grief. I have just kept silent and I allow others to interpret my silence in any manner that they feel.

Some other things happened over past few weeks. I got my CAT score. Amazingly, even after performing awesomely well(i got 99.53 percentile), I just could not impress those folks at IIMs. I am disappointed, sad and angry. I needed to prove myself and I don't expect anyone to understand this part about me. Many people have congratulated me but their eyes seem like " I am sorry about your result" or "I am sorry 'bout what happened to you." I am very grateful to all of them, for being happy and sorry for me. I needed this badly to silence a lot of people but rather I have turned silent now just to keep the topic as far as buried.

I have not written something, anything for past 4 months now. The writer's block has been pretty long now and I hope to get back to rhythm soon. I know I am missing my poems and my diary. Someday, probably I am gonna publish all that here too. Enough of keeping things to myself. Enough of this silence.