Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Silence......

This is how Merriam Webster defines the word: silence
 
Pronunciation:
\ˈsī-lən(t)s\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin silentium, from silent-, silens
Date:
13th century
1: forbearance from speech or noise : muteness —often used interjectionally 
2: absence of sound or noise : stillness silence of the night,
3: absence of mention: a: oblivion , obscurity b: secrecy silence,

Guess I have been silent for some days now. No new posts, staying away from my blog and usual stuff. What has kept me busy -- you would like to ask. Well, I do not know myself. There can be more than one reason but now I want to break this silence which has become so long that it has started to make me nervous. By the way, 2009 is here. There are mixed emotions at the moment. I am happy that 2008 is a past, a year that snatched so much away from me, a very close friend, my elder sister and my grandma( I dunno why I am putting this up but I fear that I have kept my fears so much within me that its hurting me real bad). And I am sad that 2009 is here. Now when its time to leave college and the hostel( It will be missed so very badly). And hence I have shown no signs of joy or grief. I have just kept silent and I allow others to interpret my silence in any manner that they feel.

Some other things happened over past few weeks. I got my CAT score. Amazingly, even after performing awesomely well(i got 99.53 percentile), I just could not impress those folks at IIMs. I am disappointed, sad and angry. I needed to prove myself and I don't expect anyone to understand this part about me. Many people have congratulated me but their eyes seem like " I am sorry about your result" or "I am sorry 'bout what happened to you." I am very grateful to all of them, for being happy and sorry for me. I needed this badly to silence a lot of people but rather I have turned silent now just to keep the topic as far as buried.

I have not written something, anything for past 4 months now. The writer's block has been pretty long now and I hope to get back to rhythm soon. I know I am missing my poems and my diary. Someday, probably I am gonna publish all that here too. Enough of keeping things to myself. Enough of this silence.

4 comments:

suvra said...

finally..u r back in business...
(well,can't say thgh back with a bang...will hav 2 wait 4 it..n' write something worth that phrase)....n' now...since,u've come out of wat i call the too-lazy-to-write phase,i guess...i've to get started too....man,time to get seriously serious abt stuff taht has been running round n' round in my teeny-weeny brain....nywez,thanx S.O.I...for once agn inspiring....

Keep Writing...n' bring ur old self back....(u knw wat i mean by that,,don't u?):)

Siddhartha said...

You know what Saket.I won't be melodramatic or overtly consoling(and besides I am at fault for being offline for so long).I will just tell a few lines irrespective of whether you like it or not.Even if you don't , do i give a damn!(We disagree a lot don't we?)

I believe better things are in store for you.I mean you still can get into a very good mba college and all will be well but the fact is that sometimes fate takes a different turn for us that is beyond our understanding or comprehension at that particular moment but which changes our lives for the better in the future. So give your best shot for MBA but just don't get this depressed again.C'mon it's their loss if they don't take you in and not the other way around.So why worry over things which are beyond our control.

Another thing.We don't need to prove ourselves to anybody.We all are unique in our own different way.So stop thinking and start writing for I think that this writer's block that you are talking about started with your MBA preps and deepened by your post exam depression.
In three simple words: STOP WORRYING MAN.YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOUR HAIR , DO YOU????

jack said...

hey saket, well won't say much about anything, but from your post i can see that you are coming back out of your silent shell and that i pleasing and encouraging

so don't worry and happy writing

and ya al the best for your exams :)

Saket said...

@ subhra - well!! i'd say i'll take some more time to get back to business.. till then keep waiting and start writing

@ sid - yes! we disagree a lot and i lost a lot of hair too last year :)(in the real sense of the phrase).. but i am not depressed boss!! i was angry but no more!! taking everything as they come!!

@ Jack - thanks for visiting my blog and also for the examination wishes!! i am trying to break out of my silent shell and am gonna definitely do it. Can't stay away from my blog for long!!