*#All the names have been changed or omitted to hide the identification of the real person. Also to keep me safe from their anger and wrath if they ever came to know that I wrote something like this about them......
This special edition of my blog is dedicated to a very distinguishable species; they appear to be like homo sapiens (that's humans and not something that you are thinking.... now don't shake your head and say that you weren't .... after all every wicked and crooked mind like urs on earth has unidirectional thoughts as the word homo comes up). Where was I? Ya...a special specie or you can say a very special group of people amongst us all. In our famous language that we use for interaction amongst friends, we call them phenkoo a.k.a bangoo. In english, you call them braggers.....
Phenkoo isi wajah se kaha jata hai kyunki wo bahut lambi lambi chhodte(no pun intended again) or phenkte hain. Mujhe yaad hai jab bhi aise kisi bande se hamara samna hota tha, we friends used to do this patang wala trick.When asked kya kar rahe ho, jawab hota -- Wo phenk raha hai, hum lapet rahe hain. I still do that and enjoy doing that too. The etymology of the word bangoo has not yet been found by me. I guess we use it 'coz it has been passed on to us as a legacy through several generations and many batches of our seniors at schools and colleges..... aur jaise sabko pata hai ...... Jo bada hai wo sahi hai, so no questions(but why does everyone listen to my brother in a fight-- yeah it is a fight-- is a question unanswered)
There are so many jokes about these people..... One was like this:
"Three boys were talking about their fathers using minimum no. of utensils while having tea.
First boy: My father never uses a spoon to add sugar to his tea. He stirs it with his hands.
Second boy: My father does not even use a cup and saucer. He drinks it straight from the teapot.
Third boy:My father does not even use teapot. He takes in milk,water,tea and sugar and then sits on the stove" Ouch.......
Imagine yourself sitting on a stove... Go on... sochne se koi physical damage ya dard nahi hoga :) .... well, these people can probably make you sit anywhere and do anything....they can make a man who's changing and in his undies become a superman(think about yourself as one....u will feel good) and they can call a man wearing a black hood The Dark Knight(personal experience). That's the case, they have to speak and speak rubbish about everything(even if they don't know anything about it). They want to get involved in the discussions and after they enter the discussions, u think -- what the f is he blabbering though I must confess I have a hearty laugh every time I think of those.
There have been one too many of such incidents in my life. I mean, I can practically recall so many that even the mere mention of each one of them can make this blog pretty big, so I will refrain and pick up some good ones for you(samudra se moti dhoondhna padega)
One of my relatives has this habit too. A bit politically inclined, one day he told this(I may not be able to recall everything but I will give you the details as much as is needed)--
"Us din hum phone laga rahe the dilli to achanake jante hain phone Rashtrapati Bhavan lag gaya....Hum bole- hello kaun bol raha hai to udhar se jaante hain kya bolta hai. Hum Mahamahim rashtrapati Kalam bol rahe hain(when did kalam learn to speak hindi and that too in that accent....anyways continue). Hum bataye hum _____ ______(name) bol rahe hain to wo humse poochte hain ki wahan ka haal chaal kaisa hai....(as if aap unke langotiya yaar ho......endless nonsense after that which can be omitted to shorten the blog)......aakhir mein wo bole aur kabhi kaam pade to phone kar lena."
That was it. Even today my brother and I have not stopped thinking of a plan to get the phone no. of Mr. Kalaam from him. (Though haven't found the courage to ask for it) Pata nahi humein bhi kabhi jaroorat pad jaaye :)
There was this person in my locality who had this habit too, a bit differnt though I must confess. He had a small printing press, used to publish a small newspaper too which I guess could have made an entry into the Guinness for the least circulation(I am sorry but I can't help for being such an @**#O** and spilling out such things). But when he used to walk, he would consider himself probably the owner of The Times.
Unki chand aadaton mein ek ye thi -- Jaise kisi se jhagda hua to wo bolte the -- "Chhap doonga(I'll print ur name with ur deeds in my newspaper and then everyone shall come to know)"
And I used to think...... ye kya mazaak hai. Kitne log padhenge jo badnami hogi. The real funny part about these was when the other guy wud get angry and say -- "Himmat hai to chhap kar dikhao" Arrey uncle, gussa kyun ho rahe ho. chhapne do. Kya fark padne wala hai. Kisko maloom chalega(Why can't the elders be as sensible as we are? Probably that's why shakespeare wrote...... Child is the father of man...or was it Wordsworth?)
There are lots more to tell.Probably I'll tell you more about them in another blog. Philhaal, BMW aur Lamborghini ke Patna mein showroom kholne se lekar Anand Bakshi ke hamare rishtedaar hone tak(aisa hota to sare Khan bhi ek doosre ke bhai hote), duniya in logo se bhari padi hai. Ye hamara manoranjan karte hain kyunki hum doosron ko bewakoof bante dekh bahut hi khush hote hain.
So, in the end I'll just say or rather quote Raj Kapoor from Mera naam joker -- kal khel mein hum ho na ho, ye geet koi duhrayega
i.e. The show must go on...... and yes, the show goes on and we enjoy for free(without paying anything for a ticket)