Kitni baatein...

“You forgot. Isn’t that so?”

“No, actually I had it on my mind. But I thought of rather letting it go away.”

“What? That is… so unlike you.”

“How can you be so sure that I am not this kind of a person?”

“’coz I happen to know you. No, I know you very well.”

“And yet you are not what I want you to be.”

“Why can’t you accept me as I am? I am a friend of yours and promise to stay at your side whenever you need me.”

“I need you and haven’t I told that so many times to you.”

“But I can’t love you in the way you want me to. I have told you innumerable number of times that I am afraid of commitments.”

“Then why don’t you leave me and go away.”

“That is precisely the reason why I can’t go away. You’re too precious for me to lose.”

“What were you saying? Yes, Commitment --- well, that is never a burden. You do not know how many people and to how many number of causes are you committed right now.”

“Maybe, but then I am unaware of that, rather I am not conscious about them. So, they are as good as nothing right now.”

“Your arguments can never be beaten. You know that ‘coz your arguments are so like you --- stubborn and uncompromising.”

“Well, a part of it was correct. I am uncompromising in nature but I am not stubborn.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not and even you know that very well.”

“I sometimes feel I do not know you at all. I always have this feeling that the person talking to me is someone different from the person that he actually is. There is always a hidden side of his face, one he wants to keep away from everyone around him. I might be wrong but that’s how I feel.”

“You might be correct.”

“See, again the expression might be correct. What does that mean? Either I am correct or I am not.”

“What I mean is that you are partially correct again?  And I don’t want to go into that story. It’s better to leave that.”

“That’s what I was saying too. You don’t even trust me to keep a secret of yours.”

“It’s not like that. I just want to keep it to myself, something which is too dear for me to share.”

“If it’s painful, you can share it. I would love to be of any help.”

“It’s nothing like that. Let’s just leave this discussion here itself,”

“I am sorry if I hurt you.”

“You are hurting me more by saying that.”

“That makes me even more confused. You care so much and make me unable to forget those feelings I have for you.”

“I said already. You are too precious to lose.”

“Why can’t you just go away from my life and let me forget you?”

“Is that what you really want?”

“No… but it hurts.”

“And that’s why I will always be there for you.”

“But you don’t love me.”

“But you do.”

“Yes.”

“And that’s why I will always be there for you.”

S.R.

My Last Goodbye

I don’t know if she likes me or not. I don’t know if she hates me or not. Damn it, I don’t even know if she considers me a friend. But she is probably the only reason why I can survive in this class which does not have any of my friends from my group. Fu**in’ system—transferred all of my friends to other sections on promotion to this class. Well, maybe it was good because now I have the time and solitude to look at her and admire her beauty but still I hate the system and I hate this teacher who always tries to flirt with her. What an a**h***. He will never even look at our copies or try to solve our doubts—as if his glasses have a filter and are not able to see such trivial subjects like us. Maybe he too is astounded by her beauty (It ain’t brilliance... I know that and anyone in the class can give a testimony to that) just like me and probably many other secret admirers of her.
It’s not that she is the only beautiful girl present here but I love her only (if it’s love at all). Maybe because of her casual attitude or indifference, dunno what it is (but she doesn’t really know me well, I only help her out sometimes with maths just like so many others, so why should she be a good friend of mine, loving me would be a farfetched dream). And being me, I know I am not gonna say anything to her. I will only sit here, complete my maths problems even before others start sharpening their pencils (guess a bit exaggerated) and look at her without letting anyone else know. What a coward am I! What am I afraid of? Her boyfriend (that bas**** who self proclaims himself to be her darling... but she has never denied the rumours too). No, I am not afraid of him. Is it about the fact that my class teacher knows my mom? Well, maybe but even that ain’t such a good reason. Is it because of the pressure that is on me when so many eyes (my family, my close relatives and even the distant ones too) are focussed on me, always expecting something extraordinary (by that, I mean academics) which they can easily show off (how they like to flaunt every small achievement... I remember meeting Parmeet aunty that day when she was so enthusiastically telling my mom that Gogi, her son had been awarded a prize by the school. Only later did my mom and I come to know that it was for 100% attendance and wasn’t a prize but just a certificate). Parents!!

I don’t know what the reason is but I know I won’t be able to tell her and I also know that in every maths period just like today, I will either be stealing glances of that beautiful face or killing my time writing such notes at the last pages, cursing at the same time the teacher, my school, my class partner(who I don’t know why is so interested in reading what’s written in my copy rather than his) and go on loving her (if it is love). I know I am pathetic but I am an irreparable defect.

Every memory returned in a flash as I completed reading the text on the last page. After frantically searching my cupboard for probably the zillionth time, I had been successful in finding the copy which was such a prized possession for me-- My mathematics copy in which I had solved questions in class 7. I know copies with mathematics questions are not the most interesting stuff to keep (and that too for so many years) and in no way can be a prized possession. But the last pages of that copy had scribbled text which was precious to me—even after all these years had passed. All those writings by me, just like the one above which I read again after so many years and yet it seemed like no time had passed. A smile came on my lips as I remembered everything. She was right. These memories always brought that smile, ever so elusive in my miserable life. I turned the pages and arrived at the only page which did not have my handwriting. And I wasn’t able to control myself from crying. The smile had vanished so fast and tears were falling from my eyes which are very miserly in allowing even a drop to fall out.

I remembered those days. I loved her so much and always thought of her. I wasn’t a stud (or any other word they use for smart guys). So, didn’t really have a reason why or how I could impress a girl like her (not like her but just her, to be precise). But I was very good in maths. That was the sole positive aspect in my entire story, my beacon of light in the darkness called life. It was the only time I could interact with her (she would have lots of doubts and I would always be so helpful to bale her out of her miseries, isn’t that what a girl dreams of when she talks about her knight in shining armour coming to her rescue in times of extreme urgency). But I was no knight and hell, I didn’t even know how to cut vegetables using a knife, slashing enemies with swords was something I did just in my dreams (I guess you know who all featured very prominently and very often in these dreams of mine). Jokes apart, I dreamt of her and yet I feared telling anything to her. I would have written more, about how beautiful she was, her eyes, her hair but I am not writing a novel so I will cut out all the fine details. Just like so many typical love stories, mine was no different. Boy loves girl, girl doesn’t know, boy can’t express and all the essential complimentary features like school life, friends (boy’s and girl’s), studies, secret missed calls, sleepless nights, poems written and pages of diaries filled in honour of the girl’s beauty and the boy’s love for her, were also there. But the love story didn’t last long (Well! Actually the story ended soon, the love did not).

Her dad got transferred to a different city. And she had to move out with her entire family. I never met her ever again or even had a conversation (Back then, there was no Orkut where I could look for her and become one of the 300 or 3000 of her friends and I was too secretive in not letting someone in my class know of my feelings for her—hence I could not even get her phone number. Anyways, it wouldn’t have helped. I could only have been able to muster up enough courage to give her a missed call or just listen to her hello before disconnecting). So, I decided to move on with life, moreover so after reading the only page of my mathematics copy which was readable because of the beautiful handwriting, which did not belong to me (As far as my handwriting was in those days, even those owners of the medical stores who are habituated in reading the worst possible stuff written by an entire race of people who never want or like to have good handwriting; doctors, would have either committed suicide or killed me for asking them to go through such a torturous pain). Now what was written there won’t come as a surprise to you people. I hereby produce the letter, as it was written (I can read it from memory too, after all I did read it for innumerable times).

Wow!! I can’t believe people can write such interesting stuff, that too in a mathematics copy. I am sorry that I read it but I will tell you it was all by mistake (though I don’t regret this mistake) and I am surprised and impressed as well by your writing skills. I didn’t know you could write so beautifully, except for a few starred words (mainly because I didn’t expect anything like that from you). My maths guru is after all not like I know him (that’s about one who teaches me and not the one who teaches the class—About him-- I always knew he was flirting with me and other girls too—I know you missed that part). I don’t need to worry about him anymore, or about my so called boyfriend (I agree with you, he is a bas**** because he has been spreading such rumours even after I have threatened him and now I know that there is at least one person in my class who believes the truth—anyways how could he ever think that he could get such a nice girl like me). Ooh! Enough of the bragging. You would ask why I don’t need to worry. Because I am leaving school (not because of any of the above reasons) as my father is getting transferred and we are all moving to another city. Isn’t it exciting, moving to new places, knowing more people, making new friends? And that is the only reason why I wrote this letter. I have come to know you more from your writings, though I would have liked to know you more personally. But, I know I don’t have lot of time left to spend here, so it won’t be possible. There will be still mathematics classes but I won’t be there for you and you won’t be “stealing glances of that beautiful face” (quoting you) any more neither will you be there for this poor soul to “help her out sometimes with maths” (I know I am not that brilliant—you don’t need to remind me of that ;) ). But go on writing; don’t stop doing it (maybe something else, with someone else as the central theme). By the way, the girl who sits behind me has a sort of liking for you (though she ain’t beautiful like me but is very good in maths)—interested??

Anyway, won’t tease you anymore. You are a really good boy. I will always be grateful to you otherwise I would have never passed in any of the mathematics examinations. We never became good friends or got to know each other, that is something I will regret. But there is no use thinking about what could have been and what could not. One should move ahead in life and not think of past (that is my advice to you). With that, I will say goodbye. I hope to meet you someday and then maybe we can even have a good laugh over all this that happened.


I never knew how she read it all because I always hid those pages behind the cover of my copy and cleverly hid my maths copy even from my brother. But she had found the well hidden (that’s what I thought) secret and even after knowing it, she had left so many questions unanswered. Like, what do I do next? Anyway, as I told, the story ended soon ‘coz even my father (maybe due to some heavenly providence) got transferred too within a month of her leaving the school and all my connection with her, the school was cut (maybe for good). And as she had written, I moved on forgetting her (or so I thought).

After this, a lot happened in my life. I passed through school, went to college but I won’t go into all those details. Let me fast forward the story to the time frame which was 2 hrs 14 minutes before this present moment. What a coincidence, 14/2 is 7; the class in which I saw her for the last time and 2 hrs 14 minutes is the exact time for which she is dead now!

Yes! DEAD. Gone. Alive no more. And I know I can’t blame fate here. I am the one who is at fault. Mea Culpa!

I was at this party and it went a little wild. Everyone got heavily drunk. And then we decided to do the unthinkable. The street race which we usually participated in. The adrenaline was high and all our senses had stopped giving us any warning. And then it happened. That scooter appeared from nowhere and my car hit it at the maximum speed. I saw the driver, her eyes, her face was still the same, it was her. How could I not recognize her? She was there, taking her last breath and I could not save her. I don’t know how she was there, in the same city as mine. The fate had never allowed us to meet ever before and now when we met; it wasn’t something which I ever thought to be. My friends pulled me out of my car and drove away from there.
I could not do anything except see her close her eyes.

I know I cannot take this anymore. It is difficult to bear this pain. And hence, I have decided to take my life. This is my last letter. My last goodbye.

COFFEE or BOOZE

"Hiiii, Happy Friendship Day, Kaisa hai tu? Kahaan hai? Kya kar raha hai? Kaisa raha tera din? Kya Kya Kiya aaj? Enjoy kiya na."

As always, she badgered him with innumerable questions before he could answer to even one and since he knew her so well, he made a mental note of all the questions she had asked 'coz he would not want her to repeat them again and add extra few to them so that the list of the no. of queries increased to a very large no.

"Ho gaya poochna. Now, may I speak?"

"…. Haan. Now you may speak," she said after a small pause, with that ever present giggle in her voice.

"First of all, wish you too a very happy friendship day. And tere sawalon ke jawaab kuchh aise hain----

Kaisa hoon ------ Pata Nahin

Kahaan hoon ------ Right now in a bar

Kya kar raha hoon ------ Getting myself drunk (as if I am not already… he thought)

Kaisa raha din ------ Very bad and most of all nashe mein

Kya Kiya ------ Had my 5^th breakup with Sonia...

"Wait, wait, wait. Did you say 5^th or 3^rd and did you mention the name Sonia?"

Two more questions.

"Yes."

"I think you are not in your senses. Abhi 15 din pehle hi na tere se baat hui thi. You were going out with, let me remember, yes…Radhika. What happened to her? And who is this Sonia?"

Two more. The list was getting long.

"Oh… tu bhi samajhti hai main peene ke baad hosh mein nahi rahta. Aisa nahi hai. I am in my senses. And how come you don't even know about Sneha."

"Now, who is Sneha?"

The questions just did not seem to end.

"Well, she was, rather is Radhika's sister."

"What has she got to do with you and Radhika or Sonia or whoever it is? Aah! You've got me all confused. Please, will you try doing some explaining?"

"Okay, let me start from Radhika. Yes, we were going out 15 days ago. Yes, I liked her and thought that finally I was 3^rd time lucky. She even invited me to her house where she lived with her younger sister Sneha. That's when it all went wrong. I don't know what happened but after that day, she thought that I was giving too much attention to her sister and started doubting me and even my feelings. That hurt me really bad and one day we had a big fight over it. In anger, I said what she had wanted to hear. That was it. It lasted for 10 full days. I was 3^rd time unlucky.

"I'd rather say you were lucky to get rid of her so soon. If she never believed you or trusted you, it was very nice that you got out of that relationship before it became stronger emotionally. Well, now I know about Sneha. But who was the 4^th? You still haven't completed the story."

"Only if you allow me to speak without interrupting. And I don't think you have known all that I had to tell you about Sneha."

"Really... then tell me."

"Well, Sneha was the 4^th."

"Are you out of your senses? What are you saying?"

"First let me complete what I have to say. Then you are also free to decide what I am. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Where was I? Yes, let me tell you what happened after that last phone call to Radhika. She told everything to Sneha. She came to me that evening and asked whether I was serious about what I had said. I felt that this was yet another way that Radhika wanted me to feel humiliated and so I took an aggressive step and told her that whatever you heard was true but now I don't want to have anything to do with either of you in my life. What she said after that cleared all the confusion around.

"Oh! Please don't talk like that. I am sorry on behalf of my sister. She doesn't know what she is losing. Can we talk for a moment?"

"The whole story unfolded then. It was actually Sneha that had started having a liking for me which eventually Radhika realized and that irritated her. And when I asked her about Sneha, all her fears and anger would then turn into distrust and a feeling that I was not as loyal as she had wanted me to. So, she confronted me and in anger I told her exactly what she expected to hear. Although that ended, it opened a new door for me. They say that when one door closes, god opens another one for you. I realized (again, for the 4^th time) that Sneha was just the one I was waiting for. Mujhko usmein Rab dikhai diya or di(excuse me!! But I can't call god a male whom no one has seen and invite the wrath of the Women's Rights Activists on my small blog… After all, they are equal in every possible way, so why should we discriminate them even in heavenly or more appropriately godly matters). Fast forward… six days later, Sneha tells me that she feels that I still love Radhika and haven't been able to get over her. And I so politely accept what the god said to me. So in 16 days, girl no.1 leaves me due to girl no.2 and girl no. 2 leaves me because of girl no.1. And I am left with nothing."

"Okay, that was all about the sisters. Now what is this with …ummm…. "

"Sonia?"

"Right, Sonia. What's the scene with Sonia?"

I had stopped maintaining the count by now, both of interruptions and questions.

"I broke yet another record this time. This lasted even lesser time. Just a couple of hours. We met on a plane while travelling, we talked. It was all like love at first sight. And then I told her about my horrible experiences during the past 20 days or so. She, who was a few moments saying that she was really happy to fall in love with a person like me said that it was even disgusting to be sitting beside me. She said that I wasn't sensitive and emotionless. Am I insensitive? Tell me."

"No, you are not. As far as I know, which is a lot, you are a very sensitive guy."

"See, you know that, I know that, my dog knows that, my neighbour knows that. That day, when I was singing those heart touching songs of Jagjit Singh, he didn't ask me to be quiet. Just dropped off the bill of the earplugs he had bought. Even my room mate knows that. That day, he brought me a bundle of tissue paper. So caring. But why the hell did he ask me to put it in the toilet?"

" 'coz it was the toilet paper."

"It was a toilet paper. Shit."

"Yeah. It's used for that purpose."

"I'm sorry for that. I think I'm too drunk. I'll talk to you later."

"Will you be fine? Want to meet over a cup of coffee and talk more?"

"No, its okay. I'll be fine. I can take care of myself. Thanks for calling. Bye and happy friendship day."

"Bye. Take Care."



Now imagine this conversation between two guys.

"Hey !@!@!#@#@#@# , wassup? Kya kar raha hai?"

"Pee raha hoon"

"!!@@##@##@## Akele akele. Kis khushi mein?"

"Abbey gham bhi to ho sakta hai. Waise Sonia se breakup ho gaya."

"Ab ye kaun hai. Leave that. Ye bata tu happy hai ya sad."

Now if the reply is happy ------ "Kahan hai bata! Milte hain. Saath mein celebrate karenge."

And if the reply is sad ------- "Kahan hai bata! Zara tere gham mein main bhi shareeq ho jaoon. Aakhir dost hote kisliye hain."

So, that's how it is. And by the way, coffee lessens the effect of alcohol.

CR7

Two pics!! Two dimensions to the one truth -- Change is the only thing thats permanent in this world. He is gone. No more a red devil. His contribution has been immense, not that Man Utd were not able to win titles when he wasn't there but every fan now expects the team to do wonders in every match they play. CR7 used to handle that pressure well, brought out the best when the team needed it from him. The boots of the very special no. 7 needs to be filled again. But there is always hope -- someone will be found to replace him. And yes, another truth of life -- It goes on, taking every loss in the stride. Bye Bye Cristiano(You always look better in red than white)

S.R.

All I Need .... is a Little More

I don't know whether its good or bad, rhyming or not but I took my pen and started scribbling. This was the outcome. Though its a bit personal but do lemme know how you felt after reading it. Also excuse me if my language here is not decent enough.

How I wish today that I could have just another day

Just another moment to savour

Just another discussion to remember

Another day to be together

Another day of celebrations and joy

Another moment of happiness and fun

Those frequent visits to Madhuban or Misky's
Those sneaking to Juice Point during the lab classes
Those "Counter Strike" sessions, all so long
Or playing cards while the exams are on
Or simply sitting in a room having a Khatti
Or playing Holi with each other, enjoying while getting dirty
Watching movies together (and also sleeping thro' some of it)
And kicking each other's asses, Oh! we all loved it
The Gujju--Bihari--Oriya war of words
Or the nicknames that shall never be forgot
The copying of assignments from the master copy
And then cursing the "No. 1" for why was it so lengthy
Those birthday bumps or the placement celebrations as the beating
Will be definitely missed by everyone


Always getting the attendance from Bhagwaan Sir 
For just coming to class before it ended
And also remaining outside the gates in periods of Thermodynamics
'coz CalC was what you forgot 
Or came late by a minute and outside the closed gates were left stranded


Saying "Don't Knows" during the Vivas to the amusement of the teachers
Doing "Mass Bunks" and switching off the phone
To delay the scolding and ass-whooping for as long as I can

The innumerable no. of quizzes where we participated (and lost)
It definitely was an achievement, thought not something we wished for
The scolding we got on the point of decency
Or the celebration and joy on the Fresher's Party Victory

Asking for the notes to get it xeroxed during exams
Always cursing the teacher and the course -- "Syllabus is very long"
Reading always on the night or day before exams
And then saying -- "Dude, preparation time should have been more"
And all during those times, the enjoyment in staying together
Never did I think that this day would come ever

And now that it's all about to end,
When the curtains are about to be drawn,
When the lights shall be switched off,
And everybody moves in different directions,
To discover new dreams, to find new destinations,
All alone now we'll do it, without them whom we've loved,
It would be difficult to forget these years,
When happiness was increased with them smiling around me, 
When I felt relieved after talking to them about my fears,
All those memories will find a plzce inside my heart,
And keep it going as I go on continuing with my life.....

 


S.R.

Earth Hour

What is Earth Hour?

It is an initiative by the World Wildlife Federation (WWF) to make every human realise the gravity of pollution and global warming present in the world. Quoting Wikipedia :

"Earth Hour is an annual international event created by the WWF (World Wide Fund for Nature/World Wildlife Fund), held on the last Saturday of March, that asks households and businesses to turn off their non-essential lights and electrical appliances for one hour to raise awareness towards the need to take action on climate change."

This was started in 2007 in Australia (History of the earth hour) when 2.2 million people came together. In 2008, the plan went global and an approx 50 million participants came forward to take part in this endeavor. Even the Colosseum in Rome stayed in dark for the hour. The results in terms of energy saved was amazing. This year, WWF expects a billion people to support this movement.

So what are we supposed to do.Its just a small effort that we need to put in. Switch off all the lights and air conditioners, personal computers, television and all the electrical appliances without which we can survive for a short period of one hour i.e. from 8.30-9.30 pm local time on 28th of March, anywhere in the world. Moreover, we need to tell about this to as many people as we can. I believe that more number of people will get involved if they come to know about it.

The future of our planet is in our hands. Lets try our best in doing what we can.

Loved and Lost

 

A.1: She woke up early. It was a special day for her. She had waited for this day for so long and was very excited. She took out the gift box, carefully gift wrapped and placed it on the breakfast table near his plate and waited for him. But he did not come. She saw him walk out from his room and then through the main gate, all dressed up for office. Then she heard his car start and he was gone.  

Didn’t he even remember? Could he not have just talked to me? Was I wrong in thinking that even he loved me? Whats the use now of this?

She tore the gift wrap and the letter. The words love and husband which existed together on the same paper were now separated.


B.1: He stepped into the hallway making no sound. No one was there. She must have gone out to the neighbor’s house or for some shopping. Ohh!! He could not wait any longer. Then he saw an envelope lying on the table and picked it up.

 
C.1: They had been married now for 3 years. It was an arranged marriage and both of them had been forced by their respective families to tie the knot to which they had reluctantly agreed. But they had been frank and honest to each other and told them about their individual past. They had then decided to let the relationship continue for as long as one didn’t want it to end as it was impossible for either of them to go back to their old lives. They were initially not happy with the situation and definitely not in love with each other. They compromised, often got frustrated with whatever was happening around them, why were they not getting what they wanted. Then they learnt to live with each other, helping the other person in their work and small stuffs like that. Small efforts, little shows of affection and care showed its effect.  Slowly, they were happy together and no more considered the relationship a burden. And then they fell in love with each other but neither was able to understand what the other person felt for them as neither of them expressed their feelings.

 
A.2: She went to her cupboard and took out an envelope. She placed it exactly where she had placed the box. And then she walked out of thedoor.

 
B.2: He called her but there wasn’t any reply. He remembered how he had rushed in the early morning and bought the most beautiful thing he could imagine for her. He wanted to give it to her and express his feelings at that time but his office work just did not spare him. All day long, he thought of surprising her and thinking about how she would react to that. Now, he was home but she was not there. He cursed his neighbors. And then he saw the envelope lying on the table. He picked it up, tore it open and found a few papers inside it. There was a letter also inside. It was small, only 3 lines long and read—

“I just found a new job for me which is much bigger and better than the one I have now. I’ll have to leave the city. Let’s call an end to this little play of ours.”
 
The documents lying there had the heading – “DIVORCE.”

He sat down on the chair.

Didn’t she even remember? Could she not just have talked to me? Was I wrong in thinking that even she loved me? Whats the use now of this?

He threw the box on the table and signed the divorce papers which already had her signatures on them. The box dropped and the diamonds fell on the floor. A note slipped out which read – “Happy Anniversary Darling.”


S.R.

Silence......

This is how Merriam Webster defines the word: silence

 

Pronunciation:

\ˈsī-lən(t)s\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin silentium, from silent-, silens

Date:

13th century

1: forbearance from speech or noise : muteness —often used interjectionally 

2: absence of sound or noise : stillness silence of the night,

3: absence of mention: a: oblivion , obscurity b: secrecy silence,

Guess I have been silent for some days now. No new posts, staying away from my blog and usual stuff. What has kept me busy -- you would like to ask. Well, I do not know myself. There can be more than one reason but now I want to break this silence which has become so long that it has started to make me nervous. By the way, 2009 is here. There are mixed emotions at the moment. I am happy that 2008 is a past, a year that snatched so much away from me, a very close friend, my elder sister and my grandma( I dunno why I am putting this up but I fear that I have kept my fears so much within me that its hurting me real bad). And I am sad that 2009 is here. Now when its time to leave college and the hostel( It will be missed so very badly). And hence I have shown no signs of joy or grief. I have just kept silent and I allow others to interpret my silence in any manner that they feel.

Some other things happened over past few weeks. I got my CAT score. Amazingly, even after performing awesomely well(i got 99.53 percentile), I just could not impress those folks at IIMs. I am disappointed, sad and angry. I needed to prove myself and I don't expect anyone to understand this part about me. Many people have congratulated me but their eyes seem like " I am sorry about your result" or "I am sorry 'bout what happened to you." I am very grateful to all of them, for being happy and sorry for me. I needed this badly to silence a lot of people but rather I have turned silent now just to keep the topic as far as buried.

I have not written something, anything for past 4 months now. The writer's block has been pretty long now and I hope to get back to rhythm soon. I know I am missing my poems and my diary. Someday, probably I am gonna publish all that here too. Enough of keeping things to myself. Enough of this silence.